I’m so exhausted. School is killing me and I don’t think I can take it anymore. I need to get to the stable more often to just get rid of all of my bad thoughts. Tomorrow I only have lessons where I have to sing, and my throat hurts because of all of these hours of practicing lately. Anyways, I’m really happy for having such amazing friends, it really helps me through the day, because it have been a really hard time with problems around every single corner. Every day I’m trying to push myself back on the track again, and some days are better than others.
Another thing I have to write is that I can’t get over the fact how happy I was with myself some months ago. I was really on the right track, and I was high on life, but there’s always something that brings me down. Nowadays I can hardly trust anyone. I’ve locked myself in in my own little world were no one can hurt me, the only problem is that I can’t even trust myself anymore. It feels like everyone is against me. I don’t have any problem to like myself. It’s just that I can’t trust anyone anymore, and I have no idea what to do about it. Sometimes I even want to study on distance and live at my aunt and her husbands house for a while, because I don’t feel safe anywhere else.